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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Wind, Thunder, Aunts and Engagements!!!

The wind is blowing hard today.

I have never seen winds coming howling in thus with no rain in tow.

I am awestruck, inspired and to be honest, a little aroused, at the sight of such raw and untrammelled fury.

The thunder has been crashing all day but like an estranged lover, was merely knocking about in the distance unwilling to come closer.

With the advent of the night and perhaps, quite like the errant and usual Hindi Film hero, bolstered with a few shots of whisky, it has come thundering in and is making quite a racket all for nothing.

Am I being too idiotic for words or are my words being too idiotic for what I wish to express?

The past week has been hectic and filthy. There is honestly no other word to express it. My things are jimmied up and jammed worse than the preserves aisle of Somerfield.
(Explanation: Preserves are the English equivalent of jams and Somerfield is a well know dept store)

I should be working on my insane case studies of US Aid and try to make sense out of self-adulatory Americans web sites, but to be honest; my mind is scattering and my fingers and eyes unwilling to set themselves to task.

The bloody wind refuses to give up, its practically moaning up the street, bottles, tin cans anything is grist to its mill of sounds. Am actually impressed with its virtuoso solo’s on the tin cans.

I have recently been to Aberdeen to meet my aunt and uncle up there and ate without mercy on my dieting regimen. As of now, am paying with a nasty bout of tummy ache now, but all that is past.

The week has passed and it is Monday. I haven’t written a word in the past week apart from my lunatic case studies of US Aid. I have tried to write at least one chapter a week on my idiocies here in the land of kilts and scotch and girls with angel faces & figures full enough to make buxom North-Indian girls curl up and wish to die.

Does this constitute as indiscipline? Hmmm, I think it does, but I am going to overlook it this time.

Took a bus to Aberdeen (The mouth of the river don, as informed by my aunt) and was still not happy with the seating arrangements as with brit rail. Travel in the UK is definitely not comfortable by any means. The seats don’t recline and the area allotted per bottom is hardly sufficient and I am a man who hardly has ANY bottom, I crap you not.

Rail travel costs more and takes less time, buses cost less and take more time. Its simpler to try and book tickets in advance via the net and then the difference is not much.

Driver was Polish and rude, perhaps thought he was still in Poland and being the dictator of the sole means of conveyance. Put him to rights with a few choice words including suggesting that he find the difference between Poland and Scotland. The Scots girl behind me murmured a quiet “well done” and looked quite pretty. Unfortunately my mind was not on the ball and promptly fell asleep, which was quite unlike my usual self.

I have been wondering on the entire plight of the Indians being brought up here. The poor guys are neither here and nor there, to put it politely. I don’t mean offence, however, and the whole issue has probably been dealt with far more effectively and much more eruditely than I could ever dream of doing.

Its just that I wonder at times…..what they think and feel…..

I have recently shifted to the faculty residences in Winton Drive and my new flatmate is a Chinese guy who speaks seriously mangled English. I wonder if he understands me, but he seems to be the quiet and decent sort. Heaven knows what sins he must have committed to have drawn a partner like me!!!

The rooms are smaller and the apartment is for two guys only which makes the kitchen smaller as well, however on the whole its quite cozy. The floors creak like they are on their last breath and the views from the windows are anything but scenic. However, the reduced rent and the extra income makes it all right.

That bloody wind!!! Now, its going in for the full orchestra of effects what with thunder playing a drunk percussionist and very much the worse for wear!!!

I was on call as an ASR on Wednesday night and got a call from a rather distraught lady that her hot water was not available. Upon landing up, I not only got the hot water going but a rather libidinous undergrad drunk on my hands and the choice of a beer. My senior warden got a little worried after 10 mins and came looking for me and found me enjoying the beer and inebriated company!!!

After regaining his cool, which took a while, he stated that that the residences and I deserved each other. Am still undecided on how to take the statement. But at least he did have a grin on his face, an evil one, but a grin nonetheless J

I think I like the job….

I also volunteered for additional duty today as it was paying about 6 pounds an hour and it was for the time I would usually take a nap in. So, I basically napped about in the reception area and worked a bit on my assignment. The Chief Senior Resident came in and we blew the breeze a while roving on various topics like comparative religions & mythology to Arthurian and Celtic (pronounced Kel-tic) studies in early Britain. He is brilliantly informed and is working on his doctorate. The guy is immensely strong and extremely likeable.

Am I finally developing bisexual tendencies ??

Will think on this later….not important enough to take space on frontal lobe as of now.

Have been reading the diaries of Adrian Mole, kindly lent to me by the Warden, Kevin Lee who seems to like me and quite often invites me to his study for HUGE tots of Hennessey’s XO Cognac and gives me lots of good advice on do’s and don’ts.

Kevin Lee is a doctor who is doing his further studies here and is a brilliant mind at practical realities and pragmatic decisions. When asked why I wanted to be a resident, I had replied that because I liked Kevin and the way he invited me into the Halls of Residence when I first arrived. Basically, he is a really good sort.

I am absorbed by the intricacies of british life and its customs and quaint lore. The people here treat their children like strangers and often expect them to fend for themselves and even going to the extent of asking them for rent money if they continue to stay at home after their Class 12th’s.

The diaries of Adrian Mole were written by Sue Townsend and were a rage around the eighties and documents the life of a growing teenager in those years with an interesting cast of characters starting with his dysfunctional parents, loving but strict granny and his barmy but beautiful girlfriend. The humour is understated and typically british but the insight that it offers into brit culture, thinking and the lives of the middle classes is mind blowing in its context and content.

The series of books could be an interesting crash course for those wishing to study here in the future and could be taken as an interesting reference point for all the criticism and issues faced by the brits today.

The bloody wind is still howling under my window and much as I love the sound, I am actually dreading having to walk to college tomorrow morning in that biting blast off the sea.

The bloody Scots have evil grins as they look at our pinched and screwed up faces and I think, for once, they can be forgiven for smiling at our predicaments. It was after all, our choice to come to this inhospitable environment. And I thought not having to sweat would be nice!!!

Recently I got to hear of my cousin Raboo’s engagement and impending doom with trepidation and extreme fear and 'tis a glad man I am that my presence there is not a fact!!! The poor, poor man, he has my deepest condolences for he was a good man to know and talk to. I will grieve for him and burn candles to the memory of his smiles and laughter which won’t be ever heard again.

I used to have a great rep as a jester and eternal trouble-maker and I do miss teasing all my other aunts, but to be honest, the present state that I am in as well as their ongoing obsession with this institution of social contractual and highly ritualistic suicide leave me with no option but to turn a stone ear to all their pleas. If I am to listen to them and arrive in Guwahati airport as of now, I will be measured up, weighed in, engaged, married and sent off to honeymoon before I can utter the word jetlag!!!

In the same vein, I was also quite nicely requested by one of my favourite younger cousins to…
“……n bring home an English chick (it’ll be worth d look on everybody’s face)”

My answer to the same was as follows;

“….Lastly, but not the least, kindly do away with the idea of flooring me with a brit babe just for the looks on the faces of our HUGE clans. I know, I used to love the idea of scaring the utter and complete shit out of my relations with my wild antics and perhaps I still do, but having to end up MARRYING a girl just for teasing people would be a horrible idea anyhow. So, though I hate to actually say no to a brilliant idea for getting all our folks to go total BATSHIT, I must, most respectfully decline your outrageous offer. :) Apologies. Any other stunts you may wish to pull would have my complete blessings and if needed, you can apply to me for funds against the same”

The bloody wind seems to have blown itself out, there is an unearthly silence all around. Think I’ll cash in on a few hrs of slumber.

Adios all

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