Marital Discomfort

Why do men want wives?

The usual answer is because they want to be mommied over, about and rendered completely useless……This is not my definition, but a phenomenon that I have noticed…..A phenomena noticeable in all my friends who bear the brunt of my challenging personality by enduring me over a rather long period of time…….

Okay, I know I am not welcome in your homes anymore……but I still stand my ground!!!!

Take one boy out of his mother’s grasp, dump him in school (for god knows why, because education cant be the real reason) and then onto to college and so on and so forth, till the man who finally emerges in the rat race is capable of managing for himself……

By managing I mean, being able to do everything from tying up his own shoe laces to drying out the towel to actually earning his own money and spending it as he damn pleases!!!!

And then, one way or the other, he gets married and reverts back to childhood within a span of a few months…….for some, it takes barely weeks……sucking on his thumb is optional, I am informed…..He gets a mom to chivvy him around and manage his life…….and for this he gets married???!!!!!

Okay, previously I stated, I need company…….that’s a requirement……a mom would be a liability……My mom, for example, would be rather big liability on my liquor cabinet, I believe……..

Okay, I have heard enough reasons from the opposite sex……. ESPECIALLY from those who are married………apparently, the very sight of an untrammelled and rather happy young man with enough glib lines to get some decent dates and earning enough to be able to pay for all the beer the PYT’s consume, drives them BATTY (something I am truly relishing presently!!!)

But coming back to the topic, trust me, I have heard all the rationalizations the petty female human mind can dream up and they are all drivel…….Men are so pathetic and so easily manipulated that its with utter shame I call myself one……..

So, WHY do we buy the damn cow when you can get the milk…….especially now that it comes in different flavours???

One answer was given by an old lawschool pal (face it guys, I went to lawschool, all I’ll have are lawschool pals…..we endured each other for 5 yrs to the point of becoming immured to each other) who is now a rather well recognised judicial magistrate and proud father of a very beautiful daughter ……..

So, according to Dhar-Babu, as we all knew him, men get married because marriage is the price men pay for sex…….Arguably, the arranged marriage system exists for the sole fact that it helps reticent Indian men to get laid for a flat fee of paying all other and incidental expenses……

Oh, and yes, the incidental expenses keep on accruing……..its not a reducing balance EMI payment with calculated interest on depreciation and similar…….its an increasing interest rate that grows exponentially for every given year of marriage, with intense verbal paperwork such as temper tantrums, PMT and pregnancy issues, not to mention a whole plethora of added side issues like in-laws and friends of the partner ……..and that’s not the end……we have yet to begin on the issues of penalties against non-performance of duties, viz. non ability to pay bills, create children, timely and understandable formulation of affection via materialistic expressions and substantiation thereof……

In short, I just don’t bloody get it……..WHY do we have to marry?? Just to get laid???

WOW...........

So, anyway, now the question stands…….WHY do we want to get married??

You can get dumped, you can get taken, you can get reverted to immaturity and regressed childhood……..the list doesn’t stop, but the marriages don’t stop either…….

Anyone answering Love, may please refer back to my earlier blogs;

http://phoren-se.blogspot.com/2007/05/travails-of-marriagechauvinistically.html

Anyone answering boredom can refer to my other blog sites;

http://storiesfromthegrave.blogspot.com/2007/10/pre-marital-woes.html

Anyone referring to anything sensible may please draft the same in tissue paper and do whatever it is that one does to tissue paper……

The rest of you, still reading.......get married!!!!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..........