Search This Blog

Followers

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Couldja, Wouldja, Shouldja....


What is a blog?

Is it a story, a series of anecdotes perhaps? A diary even….?

Is it just a means to an end or an end to a means….

I am a writer and this is not my profession or my vocation. What I am beyond these words, these lines, is not anyone’s concern and yet within these lines, everyone is my concern...

A writer writes whatever he writes based on his experiences, on what he feels, on what he see’s and observes….

In the past seven months, I have written much about my own self and yet there’s so much else I want to write about….so many stories that it seems that I have walked onto the set of a Tolstoy novel…..and yet, I have not been able to even encompass the variety and diversity of the people I have seen, experienced and observed and befriended…..

The people of my life are perhaps some of the most interesting characters I ever hoped to find….or even write about….

I only wish I found the plotline or even a reference point where to start…..

Should I begin with the Pakistani’s and the Bangladeshi’s……two sets of people who emerged from opposite ends of the Indian Sub-continent with such diversity between them that its hard to envisage that they share the same ancestry or even that they are perhaps related…..But perhaps its just that the representatives that I observe are such…..

Would I be able to explain the meaning of waking up in a lumpy spring mattress so unlike my old coir one back home or even the much abused cotton waste filled roll that I used back in college for 5 years and then dumped on the Salvation army…and wonder what the hell am I doing on it…..

Could I write about the “foreigner’s” to whom we are the actual foreigner’s…and the look’s in their eyes which we probably mirror back home….

Should I write about the bleak mornings when I stand by my windowsill and smoke hand-rolled cigarette’s and drink coffee while watching the flashy cars below on the street and think of the dusty and hot mornings back home…..

Could I write about our own cousin’s who have lived here so long that they are even more foreign to us than the natives and even more puzzling…..and yet are a part of me as much as my own fingers which type out these words….

Should I consider mine own brethren and the changes that being in a foreign land has wrought upon them…..and perhaps me?

Would I consider explaining about the utter senselessness of the whole system of which I am a student...and yet believe that there is no other alternative to…..

Could I write about my chat pals, three females, who have never seen me and who probably, chat with me just because my insane conversations intrigue them…and thankfully never read my blogs….

Couldya, Wouldya, Shouldya….

I would like to write something that when another person reads it, they’d be able to identify themselves with at least the protagonist, if not one of the main characters….and yet I don’t know how to even create a character which is a composite of the whole…..

I wish I could start with my journey here and work my way back in retrospective, with flashbacks and linkages….kinda smart and a very much over-used idea, I know….but still interesting….

I thought I should write a blog that can define me as much as it would define my own terrain….and perhaps be understood in a context that doesn’t require merely words or status or even visibility to be thus…..and work out a book that would give me enough space to be read in…..and to breathe in….

But what would be reference point? Would it just be another college story, just another frothy, funny piece about the experiences of just another stupid arse who has enough sense to employ some smart gag-lines and have a coherent enough plot for the lowest common denominator of readers to understand and empathise with….

I wish I could write something that would cause a reader to read me, to breathe the slightly smoky, slightly musty air that I am breathing in…..to become a part of me and go on a trip with me….not far perhaps, but far enough that when the final page is turned, there’s a sigh and a small silence for the reader to collect his/her thoughts and breathe deeply enough…

I am not asking for greatness and nor am I asking for fame……perhaps just a bit maybe…that’s not wrong is it?

I want to make a change, to cause a diversion, to make my mark in these ever-shifting sands of time and space…..not by much, but enough to be accepted and to become part of the whole….

I want ….oh, I want….just to be me and appreciated perhaps….

But then, so does everybody else….in their own ways and manner’s…..

Can I be able to link together the various parts of these disjointed pieces and jig-jaws of concentrated insanity onto paper and into a cohesive and sane whole?

As I type here in my warm kitchen ( I have the burners on my cooking range on and its safer to smoke here as the smoke-alarm is not a smoke sensor but merely a heat sensor) and see the sickly yellow walls, the faded red nailed down carpet and the over-flowing trash bins, lined with the ubiquitous black plastic bin liners and the kitchen table over-flowing with the debris of my papers, books, cigarette papers, tobacco pouch, pens, filter tips, markers, cell phones and files folders of notes, I wonder what to make of it all….

Its 5.30 am as my watch tells me and it will soon be just another chilly April morning here in Glasgow, a Saturday morning in just another city.

Does a story start here or is it just another blog?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.ile-maurice.com/forum/members/wetter-vorhersage.html][b]das wetter[/b][/url]

[url=http://www.ile-maurice.com/forum/members/wetter-vorhersage.html][b]wetter mp3[b][/url]

Anonymous said...

Hello.

A banks is a financial institution that accepts deposits and channels those deposits into lending activities. Bank primarily provide financial services to customers while enriching investors. Government restrictions on financial activities by banks vary over time and location. Banks are important players in financial markets and offer services such as investment funds and loans. In some countries such as Germany, banks have historically owned major stakes in industrial corporations while in other countries such as the United States bank are prohibited from owning non-financial companies. In Japan, banks are usually the nexus of a cross-share holding entity known as the keiretsu. In France, bancassurance is prevalent, as most banks offer insurance services (and now real estate services) to their clients.

The level of government regulation of the banking industry varies widely, with countries such as Iceland, having relatively light regulation of the banking sector, and countries such as China having a wide variety of regulations but no systematic process that can be followed typical of a communist system.[url=http://projectcontrol.v3host.nl]CLICK HERE[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hello
Companies House Webcheck
Webcheck Companies House
Company House Webcheck
Companies House Webcheck Service

[url=http://perosnalbinking.v3host.be/companies-house-webcheck.html]companies house webcheck service[/url]